05 November, 2007

in. sane.

.
And then you wake up one day and realize you’re not scared any more. Nothing to be scared of.
The presumptuous always win. The dumb are liked more, for the dumb is majority. You make peace with that. You’re a loser. So what?

The old woman who sits on her doorstep. Reminds you of yourself somehow. You smile at her. The way she returns it full of suspicion, yet with genuine warmth. You know your smile touched her.

She tells me, “my dear child, you’ve grown up I see. Grown up to be the stone you have to be. There is no greater game than life itself. Breathe in the dirt, get used to filth. There is no neverland, there is no hope.”

And you wonder, what it was about you that had made her smile.
So much hatred, so much dirt. Fudgesickle, popsickle.

Then you go back. Sleep in your quiet hole in the dark, start to imagine a world better, when you’re alone, all alone. Trying to escape it all. But there is none. Being devoid of life itself is like living it all over. The constant reminders are like buttons to you. Clasps onto the gaping holes. Ick. Ick. Ick.
With your mind, playing word games… Ticking. Tocking. Tick tock. Tick tock. Tick. Tock.

…Belief. Relief.
Definitions. Infinite.
Pains. Gains.
Propositions. Never concrete…

…Tick. The best your mind will ever be. Tock…

And then you wake up one day and realize you’re not scared anymore. The old lady sitting on the doorstep reminds you of you. You imagine a better world in vain. It’s all just a game. Tick tock. Tick tock. Tick. Tock.

…Belief. Relief.
Definitions. Infinite.
Pains. Gains.
Propositions. Never concrete…

And then you wake up one day and the old woman is no more. Nothing to remind you of yourself. Nothing is you. Still, in your hole, you imagine a better world. It’s all such a dirty game. Tick. Tock. Tick.
.

11 comments:

psychonautfromatlantis said...

fear is god and the presumptuous are drunk on a delusion of success...the dumb play among themselves in the carnival flesh...ignorant in bliss?
time weaved wisdom around the old woman, yet still she died too?
emancipate yourself from someone else's delusion of reality and retreat into your own. both would perhaps remain delusions in essence.
beliefs offers shelter...definitions are there to make sense of the senseless. pain is gain. from the moment you're born your death starts to bloom. tick...tock... or perhaps maybe this is forever?...reapeatin random patterns...insane...in vain...inane...sane...game...

Twist said...

" . ..Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery;
None but ourselves can free our minds.
Have no fear for atomic energy,
'Cause none of them can stop the time... . "

Anonymous said...

'emancipate yourself from someone else's delusion of reality and retreat into your own' wudnt u be the loneliest person?and mite even be called crazy?ignorance is bliss!go for it!

gwynciar said...

"Emancipate yourself from that shitload of crack you've probably been smokin', cold turkey if necessary. Go Rehab! Go for it, girl!"

:P

Levity said...

Maa on crack! haaahaaaheheheeee!
O.K thats it! I'm dragging you out from under you bed! Seriously...woman you looked like a hermit crab when I saw you last. We're resuming our night wandering ways [well I guess early night wandering...Man I'm pathetic]

-Lua-

suicidal imbiciel said...

that reminds me of peter pan cartoon. hehe. tic toc tic toc

gwynciar said...

The presumptuous are thus and the dumb drool forth for you think that that is so. Perhaps you're the deluded one? The one who, with the hubris of the defeated, screams out to the winds that in regione caecorum rex est luscus, not really believing it yourself. In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is the mutant and the outcast. Before the rabble, it is the familiar that breeds glory and beauty.
Perhaps, you could close your good eye, and reach out into the empty air. And maybe you wouldn't have to drink deep the filth. Because folly becomes virtue in the eyes of the fool, and the kaleidoscope keeps moving on. And you may wonder why you were never here before.

But other than that, seriously, lighten up.

Raniya said...

tick..tock..
this is true.

s.s said...

Tick tock..

shweeeeet! said...

i love it ^.^

Amaranth said...

Good post.